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Simple Crush or Deeper?

Just wanted to share what's been eating my thoughts this past few days. There's this guy whom I think is almost perfect and I think I'm starting to like him. I'm confused... I have so many crushes but this guy is different.... as I've said he's almost perfect. I wanted to post his pic on my blog but I'm afraid that one day he might discover my blog....

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Saturday, June 24, 2006

Midnight Musing

I just finished making revisions on the e-cart system and as I close my eyes to get away from the intense brightness of the monitor, this silly thought cross my mind. I don't know why all of a sudden this notion came into my reverie. I hate it when I ponder on this thought but actually I've been mulling over this thought ever since I was in high school. I've talked about this with my high school friends and they told me that I'm being pathetic but you know what, I really can't help thinking that I'm gonna die soon. The very thought of death makes my skin crawl. I'm terrified of death, right now I've got so many wonderful plans and the though of death makes my aspirations and dreams blurry. I'm not prepared for it and I'm not saying that there's sort of preparation for death, I just don't want to die and I know that its not my time yet.

I've been having this spots or blemishes all over my body since December last year. I've seen three doctors already but still I'm not healed. They only give me a few spot-free weeks and after that the blotches are all over me again. Right now I even have spots on my face and sometimes I'm having a difficulty breathing. I don't know what's happening to me and this frightens me. I already stop taking medicines, they can't cure me. I do not usually believe in albularyo but I've got nothing to lose. Right now what I'm taking are herbal medicines. Just last night my mom boiled these leaves, I don't know what they're called, and I bathed using them. This may sound ridiculous to you but I'm really hoping that this could cure me.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Whew! I'm done with my OJT. I'm so glad that I made it and learned a lot of things about my craft. What I did in my OJT was developed a system/site for the partner NGO of Balanghai Study Center, St John Calabria Livelihood Center. This is actually my first time to be a part of an organization with the goal of reaching out and helping people and to develop a system using PHP. I admit that I hate self-studying.. I really hate it.. but thanks to my ojt, it taught me to trust myself.... read... read...and read... Well, on the contrary, I love reading but I do not read academic books. Its really boring... I just enjoy reading novels and magazines (lol).. During my ojt I spent most of my time online joining in forums and reading tutorials.... I was amazed by what I learned. It was really great... I'm starting to love PHP because by exploring the world of PHP I got to learn CSS and Javascript....

Although I'm done with my ojt, still there are some revisions to the system and that's what I'm doing right now... It really felt good to develop a system especially using a language that you learned all by yourself and with the help of some trustworthy friends and strangers... I really felt good for what I've done this summer and I'm looking forward for our thesis... We've already found a client but the project is still subject for approval by our thesis adviser. I'm hoping that he/she'll approve it since our client is really accommodating and very friendly. Well, that's about it for today's post.... Carpe Diem.... Ciao

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Monday, June 12, 2006