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Midnight Musing

I just finished making revisions on the e-cart system and as I close my eyes to get away from the intense brightness of the monitor, this silly thought cross my mind. I don't know why all of a sudden this notion came into my reverie. I hate it when I ponder on this thought but actually I've been mulling over this thought ever since I was in high school. I've talked about this with my high school friends and they told me that I'm being pathetic but you know what, I really can't help thinking that I'm gonna die soon. The very thought of death makes my skin crawl. I'm terrified of death, right now I've got so many wonderful plans and the though of death makes my aspirations and dreams blurry. I'm not prepared for it and I'm not saying that there's sort of preparation for death, I just don't want to die and I know that its not my time yet.

I've been having this spots or blemishes all over my body since December last year. I've seen three doctors already but still I'm not healed. They only give me a few spot-free weeks and after that the blotches are all over me again. Right now I even have spots on my face and sometimes I'm having a difficulty breathing. I don't know what's happening to me and this frightens me. I already stop taking medicines, they can't cure me. I do not usually believe in albularyo but I've got nothing to lose. Right now what I'm taking are herbal medicines. Just last night my mom boiled these leaves, I don't know what they're called, and I bathed using them. This may sound ridiculous to you but I'm really hoping that this could cure me.

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006